Frequently Asked Questions
Does GAMMA have a party line?
No. Everyone has to find their own answer, and what is best for one person may not be best for another. Therefore, we try not to give advice. But if someone asks for help with an issue, others who have experience with that issue are encouraged to discuss how it has affected them and how they have handled it.
Is what I say in a meeting confidential?
GAMMA's policy is that all meetings are confidential. We remind participants of this confidentiality policy at every meeting. We ask every attendee to keep private what they hear in the group. If it will help you in resolving issues in your marriage, you certainly may discuss generalities of what you learn here with your wife or another appropriate person. But we ask that you not discuss these things in a way that would reveal a person's identity.
Where are GAMMA meetings held?
GAMMA meetings are held in a variety of locations in the United States. A full list of meetings can be found here.
If you are interested in starting a group in your area, please contact us.
Where do I find the latest meeting information?
Either Meetup.com or the local GAMMA website has the latest meeting information. A full list of meetings can be found here.
GAMMA in many locations uses Meetup.com to post the latest meeting information. If you are new to Meetup, you will first need to click the 'Join us!' button and create a Meetup account. Creating a Meetup account requires that you enter an email and password. Once you've created a Meetup account you will need to request to join the GAMMA Meetup. Once approved for the GAMMA Meetup, you will be able to see meeting dates, times and locations.
Do men have dinner before the meetings?
For some meetings, men often meet for dinner at a local restaurant before the meeting. The location of these dinners is announced through Meetup email messages to GAMMA Meetup members.
Who should attend a GAMMA meeting?
GAMMA meetings are held regularly as a means of support for men who are gay, bisexual, questioning or who don't identify themselves as any of the above, but who are attracted to men, and who are, or were, married or otherwise involved with a woman. We don't allow observers or guests at GAMMA meetings. Any man who is interested in these topics and is looking for a safe, confidential place to discuss and explore these issues with other like-minded men is welcome.
Can I attend meetings 'anonymously'?
Absolutely. Many men, when they first come to GAMMA, choose to introduce themselves only by their first name. There is no pressure to disclose anything more about your personal life than what you are comfortable disclosing.
Is GAMMA a social group?
Although our purpose is that of a support group, many men, once they begin to attend meetings regularly, make friends in the group who become important sources of their support system and their community outside of the meetings. Men often meet for dinner before, or a drink after, the meeting.
Who comes to GAMMA meetings?
Men who come to GAMMA identify as gay, bisexual or questioning, or, in some cases, they prefer not to label themselves at all. What they have in common is an attraction to men. Most are currently married or involved with a woman—some for several decades, while others for a couple of years or less; and some men were previously married or involved with a woman. Men of all ages come to GAMMA meetings, and some attendees are fathers. Over the course of attending GAMMA meetings, some men may decide to stay married, while others to separate or divorce.
Is GAMMA intended to replace therapy or mental health treatment for those who need it?
No. Although GAMMA has provided an extremely valuable experience for countless numbers of men over the years, it is a self-help group and should not be considered the only resource for men, especially those in crisis, those who are clinically depressed or who are suicidal. We encourage you to seek out a qualified therapist or psychiatrist if you are having serious problems or simply feel that a one-to-one therapeutic relationship would be useful. In addition, some men who attend GAMMA meetings seek counseling with their wives. There are a number of men in the group who can recommend professionals who have helped them.
What information should I share with other attendees I meet?
You should share only information you are comfortable sharing. There is no pressure to tell more about your life than you are comfortable sharing.
How do I stay in touch with the men I meet?
The meetings are two (or, occasionally, three) weeks apart, and sometimes you may want to talk to another attendee in between meetings. Because of this, we encourage you to share telephone and/or e-mail addresses with each other if you wish, and particularly if someone's story strikes a particularly familiar chord with you.
How do men maintain their confidentiality after meetings?
While many men are quite comfortable seeing and interacting with men they have met at GAMMA in a different setting, others may not have disclosed with their wives and/or families that they attend meetings. When you see other men from GAMMA away from the meetings, we ask that you be respectful, that you assess the situation to determine if it would be OK to say 'Hello," or that you just say nothing at all.
Is there a cost to attend a GAMMA meeting?
At the end of each meeting a voluntary contribution of $6 is requested. If it is your first meeting, we invite you to be our guest at no cost, if you so choose. The money collected in meetings is used to pay for such things as the cost of renting meeting rooms, Meetup fees, and our website hosting. GAMMA has no paid staff and all meeting facilitators volunteer their time.
Is GAMMA affiliated with any other organizations?
No. We aren't affiliated with any religious, political, or social organizations.